A few days ago, I went to deliver a print to a bride, and when I got there, she had a giant bag of Skittles. I was amazed at how big the bag was, and I was even more shocked when she said it was for me. She had looked at my Instagram account and saw that I loved Skittles and wanted to do something nice for me. What a kind thought!
Weddings are the perfect time to give gifts. This can be kind of confusing because there aren’t any set rules. Today, I’m going to help out and give you some tips for giving wedding gifts.
Use the Couple’s Wedding Registry
Over the years, I think I’ve frustrated my friends and family when they need to buy gifts for me. They ask me what I want, and I rarely can tell them anything. It would be so much easier if I just had a list of stuff I wanted.
When pondering over the perfect wedding gift, checking out the couple’s wedding registry is often a wise strategy. Think about it. They made a list of the things they wanted, so you can’t screw it up.
Today, these lists are really easy. They can be found online or at the actual store. Sometimes it’s as simple as clicking and paying. It’s an excellent way to avoid duplicate presents and ensures the couple receives something they genuinely want. By sticking to the registry, you’re not only honoring the couple’s wishes but also contributing to their new life together in a meaningful way.
Cash is King
After years of no lists, my family has learned that the simplest thing is to give me money, and I’m fine with that.
In today’s fast-paced world, many couples prefer cash gifts rather than physical items. Offering cash as a wedding gift can provide the couple with the flexibility to use the money where they want, whether for their honeymoon, home purchase, or the future.
The one downside is that giving cash can seem lazy or impersonal because there is no thought or sentimental value. When you buy someone a physical thing they will remember you every time they see it.
My best advice is to ask what they prefer if you are unsure. Most will tell you and then you can make the right choice.
Look at their Wedding Website
The wedding website is a great place to find out about the couple and maybe an idea for a gift. If you’re lucky, they will have a link to an online registry or say where they are registered like we mentioned above.
Still, there might be other clues hiding on a couple’s wedding website Wedding websites often contain information about the couple’s preferences, wish lists, or even charitable causes they support. By taking the time to explore these details, you can make your gift to fit the couple’s personalities and interests, making it more meaningful and memorable. Beyond traditional gifts, these clues may lead you to consider unique or personalized presents that connect with the couple on a deeper level. Whether it’s a shared hobby, travel destination, or a charitable cause close to their hearts, incorporating these details into your gift can demonstrate your thoughtfulness and consideration.
How much should you spend on a Wedding Gift
Ah, the dreaded how much question. That’s always a super tough thing to think about when buying gifts for weddings or any situation. Here is the simplest rule: spend as much as you want and can afford. This is so much better than there being some general number because that won’t apply to everyone in all places and situations.
In almost every case, the wedding couple isn’t going to know or care about how much you spend. They will be happy that you were at the wedding and that you thought of them. Putting out the time and effort to get them something they want or that fits who they are is way more important than the cost.
What if they have a registry and you can’t afford anything on it? That’s ok. There are still things you can do. One, find something similar or something you think they will like. Two, you can always make them something if you have that kind of skill because that is usually almost free. A third option is the next topic, getting a group gift.
Go for a Group Gift
As I just mentioned, sometimes you can’t afford something on the registry. In that case and a few others, it is a great idea to find some other people and get a group gift.
Another situation where this works well is if there is an expensive item on the registry that no one can afford alone. Getting 3-4 people together makes that dream happen and everyone feels involved.
Did you have a strong friend group back in the day? Getting a group gift is a fun way to bring back the connection of the old friends. Everyone will feel like they are part of it, and it will be a way to remember all of them.
Do you bring your gift to the ceremony?
When it comes to wedding gift etiquette, the question of whether to bring your gift to the ceremony and reception often arises. While some guests prefer to bring physical gifts to the wedding venue, others choose the convenience of sending gifts directly to the couple’s house or apartment.
Before you choose, consider things such as the size and fragility of the gift, how it will be transferred, and the couple’s preferences when deciding how to deliver your present. If you are giving them something huge or valuable, it would be best to have it taken directly to their house.
No one really opens gifts on the wedding day, so if you have a way to get it to their house, it would be the best option.
Choosing a popular wedding gift
A simple google search for popular wedding gifts will tell you all the things that people have been giving lately and for hundreds of years. This is a good starting point, but should you just do what everyone else is doing?
That’s a tough question and I think it really depends. First off, did the couple post a registry and are they the type that like to stick to things? If there are a ton of the traditional or popular gift ideas on there, then go for it! If you don’t see things like kitchenware or home decor, it probably means they already have it or don’t want it.
If you think the couple is the type that likes surprises or is open to new experiences, then feel free to go for some of the newer, popular gift ideas. This could be things like tickets to an escape room or some other experience, subscription services, or charitable donations.
Do you bring a wedding gift to a destination wedding?
When attending a destination wedding, wedding gift etiquette requires thoughtful consideration to ensure your present is well-received and appropriate for the occasion.
The big difference with a destination wedding is in most cases you are paying a large amount to be at this wedding. There is the cost of getting there and staying at the location.
This can affect your gift in a few ways. One, you might not be able to bring certain gifts due to laws or space. Two, many will choose a cheaper gift since they are already paying for the trip.
Practical and versatile gifts, such as gift cards, travel accessories, or personalized mementos, can be excellent choices for a destination wedding. Also, sending the gift directly to the couple’s residence before or after the wedding can solve the problem of carrying it to the destination.
Wedding gift etiquette for a virtual wedding
In 2020 Covid screwed up the wedding world, and many couples chose to do a virtual wedding. Now, this doesn’t happen nearly as much, but it’s still important to understand the gift giving rules for a virtual wedding.
A virtual wedding as far as gift giving goes, isn’t much different than a normal wedding. Still, take into consideration the things we have already mentioned. The biggest difference is getting the gift to the couple.
For the most part, you’ll want to ship the gifts to the couple. If you happen to live close to them, you can deliver it to their house, but make sure you have permission first.
Do you buy a wedding present if you aren’t attending the wedding?
A lot of people think of the wedding gift almost as a trade for being invited to the wedding and the cost of it all. So do you still give a present if you aren’t going to the wonderful wedding reception?
In general, it’s still a good idea to give a gift even if you aren’t going. They took the time to invite you and they were willing to pay for you to be there. It’s a nice idea to send them something.
There are a few differences. One, you might not spend as much on the gift as you would if you were attending. Two, you will probably want to ship it directly to them since you can’t bring it to the wedding.
How do I know if the couple received my gift?
I’ve seen a ton of wedding gift tables, and I know that packing up a wedding is super involved. Do gifts get lost or disappear and how do you know they got your present?
In most cases, the couple will write you a thank you note in some form a few weeks after the wedding. Traditionally, it’s a note card in the mail. With today’s technology it might be a post you are tagged in, a text, or an email.
If you are shipping the present, then you should be able to track it. Almost all orders these days come with some form of tracking.
Are there things I can do in place of a gift?
There are certain situations where a gift is not an option. Maybe you can’t afford it or you just want to do something different. There are still things you can do for the wedding couple that show you care and can make a huge impact.
Consider thoughtful acts such as offering your time, skills, or services to assist with wedding preparations, organizing a celebratory event, or helping with a post-wedding task. Personalized experiences, sentimental gestures, or acts of kindness can often hold more meaning than material gifts and create lasting memories for the couple. For example, I could offer my photography or someone could bake their wedding cake.
What if the couple separates before I get them a gift?
I hate even talking about this, but unfortunately, in the world we live in, many married couples do not stay together. If the unfortunate circumstance arises where the couple separates before you have the chance to give them a wedding gift, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and discretion. Consider the couple’s feelings, privacy, and emotional well-being when deciding how to proceed with the gift. Respect their need for space and time to navigate the separation before reaching out or engaging in gift-giving gestures. Should you wish to acknowledge the wedding or support the couple during this challenging time, consider sending a thoughtful card or message expressing your understanding and care. Avoid pressuring the couple to accept a gift or revisiting the wedding celebration if it may cause discomfort or distress. Prioritize sensitivity and compassion in your interactions to respect the couple’s privacy and emotions during this sensitive period.
Conclusion: wedding gift etiquette guidelines
Wedding gift etiquette rules can vary greatly depending on the situation, but there are some general guidelines to keep in mind when choosing the best wedding gift for the couple. If you are invited to a wedding but can’t attend the wedding ceremony, it is still proper to send a gift to the couple. When deciding how much to spend on a wedding gift, consider your relationship with the couple and your own financial situation. If you’re not sure what gift amount is appropriate, it’s always a safe bet to give money as a wedding gift. Some couples may request money as a wedding gift to help with expenses, while others may have a wedding gift idea registry where you can choose a specific item to purchase as a wedding gift. Overall, though, it’s the fact that you are thinking of them and supporting their marriage that matters.
